Yang's Guide to The Gay-lexy
by knives4cash
Summary: Yang finds her sister in need of immediate education on the ways of the womanly body. Hilarity ensues.


Part fifty-four of my RWBY series "Pollination: The Bumblebee and White Rose" and a gift dedicated to chaosarmageddon, who spent his money on a premium membership for me. With a little luck, this will the last fool to part with their money.

* * *

"Yaaang, I don't think this is really necessary," she feebly lies as I drag her down the hall by the cape.

"Nonsense!" I respond as we arrive at our door. "You're a growing girl, Ruby. You can't be ignorant in these matters!" Swiping my keycard across the receiver, the door unlocks. "Now, this won't take long, I promise!"

Ruby switches on the lights as I rush over to my half of Team Bumblebee's closet. Not a speck of dust, just how I left the goods! Not that they would have time to collect dust. "Go ahead and make yourself at home," I offer as I get out the three big boxes.

"This IS my home!" she whines as she flops down on her bed. I swear, Imma hafta learn this girl a thing or two.

"Okay, Ruby!" I announce as I clap my hands together. "You and Weiss are in a relationship!"

She blinks at me. "Um… I kind of knew that?"

"And that means you two are romantically intimate, right?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

Blushing, she awkwardly tugs at her collar and flusters, "O-of course not! We've only been dating for three months, seventeen days, and-" she looks at her watch before finishing, "twelve hours!"

Wow, that has to be one of the most adorably pathetic acts of romance I've ever seen. "The romance is strong with you, young Rose," I waver as I sit down next to my little sister. "But you are not a lover yet."

Sighing, she slouches. "What do I need to learn?" she asks in defeat.

But it's for her own good! She should be excited!

I'll make her realize the error in her ways. "Okay, so you and Weiss are an item, off the market! What you want to do is know how to make love to her!"

"But we're barely kissing!" she cries out, appalled by the truth.

"Yeah, well not for long, sis!" I point out to her. "Sooner or later, you two are going to get bored of kissing, so you'll want to move on to more intimate things!"

Scoffing, Ruby asks, "Like what?"

I grab her boob.

"EEEP!" she shrieks, slapping my face and moving away. "WHAT are you doing?!" she demands.

I thought it was pretty obvious. Ow, cheek stings are the worst stings. "Groping! It intensifies the kiss!" I explain. I pat the spot on her bed. "Sit back down and get educated already!"

She weighs her options and reluctantly sits back down. "Go on," she offers with reluctance.

Patting her on the head, I smile. "You'll make a great lover, kid, I guarantee it!"

Her unwavering frown suggests otherwise.

"Okay, so kissing is fine and all! Nothing wrong with kissing," I ammend. "It can be gentle, passionate, long, or quick! But a kiss won't go very far in the bedroom."

Ruby nods.

"So, what you want to do is think of it like a meal! A kiss can be the bread! We all want bread, but we'd like something else to go with it, y'know?" I attempt to explain through the example.

"Okay, that makes sense," Ruby decides. Tapping her boob, she asks, "That's what groping is for?"

I smirk knowingly. "Among other things," I slyly remark. Ah, but I have to stay on target! "Okay, groping is just grabbing your significant other in a manner that is sexually arousing."

"Wow, big sis using big words," Ruby sarcastically remarks before I grab her hands and place them on my chest. Getting the idea, she starts sque-EEEEOOW!

"OW! OW OW OW! RUBY!" I remove her hands by force. "You DON'T pinch me like you're strangling me!" Reapplying her hands, I gently guide her motion. "Massage them, gosh! Just do it like this," I explain as I make her hands go in circular motions.

"Okay, like this?" she asks as she starts kneading them. "Do I got it?"

Bad grammar aside, I nod. "Basically, yeah. Now, some girls like it slow, like you're doing now," I motion to her actions. "Others like it rough, so just do that in a faster motion."

And she picks up the paa~aaace, mmh. "Yeah, that's pretty good. Weiss doesn't have the biggest rack, but the skill is universal to all girls."

"Okay, now what?" Ruby asks as she removes her hands from my chest.

"You'll want to know other erogenous zones," I explain as I slowly run my hand up along her inner thigh.

Releasing a stifled shutter, Ruby moans, "Ooo~ooh, I see."

Great! She's catching on! "Okay, that'll be what Weiss likes. Pretty much everyone likes this kinda touch, male, female, human, faunus, probably Grimm too!"

Ruby just kinda stares at me. It's hard to read her like that. "Okaaay, what else?" she asks.

"Okay, you know what a clitoris is, right?" She'd better, otherwise we're going to have to have a VERY hands-on demonstration.

Her legs immediately cross, and she places her hands on top of her lap. Scooting away a few inches, she answers, "I do, yes."

"Good, then you've been rubbing one out now and then?" Oh, wow. She's getting redder than her cape.

Looking away from me, she silently nods.

"What about Weiss?" I wonder.

Glaring back at me, she asks, "How should I know?!"

"I was just WONDERING!" Gosh! "Okay, you know that stuff. Now let's get to the more materialistic stuff."

"Materialistic?" she repeats as I get the first box and place it upon her lap. Receiving the okay from me, she removes the lid and immediately slams it back over the box. "Yang, it's full of boy parts!" she bellows.

Knocking the lid off, I grab the first one in reach. Ah, the purple one! "Okay, this is a dildo," I explains as I wave it in front of her disgusted face. "You can stick it in three places, two of which are VERY optional and unadvised unless you're into that kinda stuff."

Groaning, Ruby motions for me to go on.

Excellent. "Now, Weiss is a small girl, so you'll probably want a smaller package for delivering at first. As time goes on, you'll upgrade to a bigger size."

Gently removing it from my hand and placing it back in the box, Ruby sighs, "I get it. Can we just finish this up already?"

Fine, have it your way, sis. "We'll just do a basic rundown of the other stuff," I decide as I move on to the next item. "Okay, this is a vibrator," I reveal. "As you can see, it's like a dildo, but it vibrates," I explain as I push the button.

VVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

Ruby shuts it off. "I get it," she deadpans as she puts it back in the box. "Next?"

I pull out a decent sized strapon. "You use this to pretend like you're a dude."

"Peachy," she mutters in embarrassment. "Next?"

A set of pink, fluffy handcuffs. "You'll wanna use cuffs in sets of fours. It binds all limbs and really stimulates the bound person."

She nods. "Seems dangerous, but sure. Why not."

A bright red ball gag! A classic! "If you're feeling dominatrix, this is what goes in your victim's mouth. It works great with the cuffs!"

She pouts. "Seems barbaric, but I guess it makes sense."

My whip. A two foot, black, shiny whip with small frays at the end. "Selfexplanatory."

Judging from the light in her eyes, I'd say she's getting a few ideas with that one. "Nice," she whispers.

Whelp, that's pretty much all of the toys. "Our next stop is clothing!" I declare as Box One goes back on the floor and Box Two comes up in its place.

"There's clothing for this stuff?" she gawks in wonder.

Ah, such youthful ignorance. "Sis, toys can be great, but if you want to spice up the foreplay, you want the proper attire." I remove the lid and present my greatest assets. "Behold!"

Ruby stares blankly at them and picks one out at random. "It's a nurse's unifo-oooh." The last of her words die on her tongue as she examines it more thoroughly. "I think I get it," she whispers in awe.

"You like that? I got a ton more," I giggle as I sift through my assets. "I have a police officer's uniform, that nurse one, a firefighter- you can make a lot of puns with that one," I quickly remember aloud. "Of course, none of these would fit you, my chest size is abnormally large, so you'd have to get one with a smaller cup size."

Ruby jabs me in the arm. "Oh, WOE unto you!" she sarcastically pities. "Oh, what's this one?" she asks as she pulls it out. "It kinda looks like Glynda's clo-" She stops, looking back and forth between me and the outfit. "You don't- You can't- ...DO you?!" she wonders in shock.

Chuckling, I nod. "It's Blake's personal favorite. That's one that works great with the whip."

She stares at it. "I guess Glynda's bust is about the same as yours," she quietly decides.

She's really fondling that outfit. "Be careful with that, okay? I had to walk through Mordor to get it, and I REALLY don't want it dama-"

The door opens. It's Blake. "Yang, I'm back from the-."

"AAAAAGH, WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING!" Ruby shrieks as she rips my outfit in two and frantically throws them out the window.

"RUBY, NOOO!" Confound it! We're on the third floor! And I can't send Blake out to grab it! "THAT WAS OUR FAVORITE!"

Blake is by my side. "WAS THAT THE GLYNDA ONE?!" she immediately demands, lurching her head out of the window. "NOOO!" she exclaims in agony, collapsing to the floor.

Agh! How can I stay mad at Ruby when the love of my life is in shambles?! "Blake, kitty cat, it's not the end of the world!" I immediately amend, wrapping her in my arms. "Don't cry!"

She leaps up. "You did this," she seeths towards Ruby. "You've destroyed our greatest foreplay device."

Yeah! "Ruby Rose! Prepare to answer for your cri-ppfffft!" Blech! Since when do her rose petals taste so AWFUL?! "Curses! She got away!" I proclaim as I strike an epic pose amidst the falling flowers.

Blake stares at me. "Only just now! She can't run forever! I'll pursue her on foot, and you follow on your motorcycle," she plans as she grabs Gambol Shroud from under her pillow.

"Hold it," Weiss orders.

We both turn, seeing her in the doorway. "I overheard your little ordeal," she confesses as she strolls in. "And I'd like to formally request that you not kill my girlfriend." Raising an eyebrow towards Blake, who is currently brandishing Gambol Shroud, she states, "I have a proposition."

Hmm. Ice Queen could give us half of the Schnee Estate for our own, private Bumblebee Hive. "Alright, what do you propose?" I cautiously ask, placing a restraining grip on my girlfriend's shoulder.

She holds up two pieces of paper. "I was GOING to ask Ruby to the opera. I had reserved the seats three months in advance, and the performance is tonight."

There's a pause.

"But?" Blake motions, sheathing her sword and motioning for her to continue.

"You two get going. Enjoy the show. I'll track Ruby down and repair whatEVER damage she has done," Weiss generously offers as she moves past us to the window. "What was- Oh."

Looking back at us, she confesses, "I'm not even surprised. In fact, I don't even care." Crossing her arms, she cooly continues, "Leave me and Ruby to our devices, and you two can have an enjoyable night."

Blake looks to me, and I to her. She nods.

"It's a deal," I declare as Blake places Gambol Shroud back under the pillow. Weiss offers the tickets, and she accepts them.

We shake on it.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," she mutters as she moves to her closet and removes a sewing kit, "I have a questionable set of clothing to repair, and a hyperactive tomboy to track down."

Hah! It'll be a long night for her. And not the sexy kind either!

Blake alerts, "Yang, catch."

I look just in time to see her tossing me the Bumblebee's keys. "Ready to go?" she asks with a grin. "I think we're ready for some music."

I look to Weiss. "You sure about this? Freak cookie accidents happen everyday. No one would question her untimely demise."

She frowns. "I hate having to give it up, but between that and risking your girlfriend killing MY girlfriend over some lame cosplay for the bedroom?" Chuckling, she shakes her head as she threads her needle. "I'll keep my girlfriend, even IF she has her moments."

Wow. That was remarkably deep for the Ice Queen. Whelp, Blake's ready to go, and so am I. "You have fun with your night."

Glaring, she deadpans, "I won't. Now, when you get out front, do me a favor and toss your stupid cosplay back up to me, okay?"

Blake takes me by the hand. "We'll do just that, Weiss."

The door clicks shut. "What a day," I remark as we lock arms and stroll down the hallway. "She can be very persuasive when she wants to."

She leans against me with a pur. "You just HAD to show your sister everything?"

"She knew where the clitoris was! So she wasn't completely ignorant!" I point out, valiantly defending my sister's sexual honor.

"Wait." She stops, so naturally I stop as well. "If she didn't know where it was, would you have actually shown her?"

Well, duh. "Why wouldn't I? She's got to know these things if she and the Ice Queen want a successful relationship."

Huh, I've never seen such a blank, neutral expression from her before.

Hanging her head, she whispers, "Confound it, Yang."

* * *

**A/N:** Chaosarmageddon's winning idea, copy-pasted directly out of our negotiations.

"Yang sits Ruby to have *that* discussion about, well, when a girl loves another girl very much (to go with the prequel trend and, well, admittedly, introduce Ruby as Pollination's more sex-involved Ruby)."


End file.
